Obligatory Friendship Post

Friends. I've often told myself, who needs 'em? I like being alone. In fact, I LOVE being alone. It's the only time I really feel like me and not an alternate version of me. I've always had acquaintances. Classmates. Kids you waved at in the halls of school. Those kinds of friends were never hard to make. But they were tourists. (Parks fans, you know what I'm sayin'.)

But about a year and a half ago, I realized something. These temporary "hall friends" weren't gonna cut it. Even I can't stand loneliness for too long. Sure, I may not like to go out or know how to express my true feelings, but I needed someone who would understand that. Someone who would accept that. And someone who would most probably be the same way.

Then I met Annie. High school was a place where the popular thrived and the not-so-popular had quite a challenge ahead of them. So the fact that Annie and I met and bonded right then and there, that meant something to me. I am unwaveringly proud to have (and to BE) a best friend, especially despite my flaws and disgustingly terrible communication skills. But we found each other and I couldn't be happier.

And you know what? I thought that was it. I thought I had ran the race and come out a victor. I realized and accepted the fact that this was the closest I would ever get to friendship. I figured one was enough, and really, would I ever have that incredible stroke of lucky again where I met someone I immediately clicked with? Not likely.

Well, friends, I was wrong. I was so wrong. I was laughably wrong. I was wrong four times over.

Abbi. Dear, sweet Abbi. You took me under your wing during my shaky and unstable first time watching Doctor Who. You exchanged feelings and emotions with me like no other. I realized for the first time that people could truly bond over television. You taught me to love things. Really love things. And to not be ashamed of it either.

Leila. You are sharp of wit. You are smarter than I'll ever be. And DAMN you can make a good argument. You showed me how to reply to a text post with a gif (which is an extremely important and valuable thing to know, thank you very much). You constantly put a stupid grin on my face when you lecture me about historical facts that, if learned in history class, I would fall asleep to, but when learned from you, are perfect and informative. In short, you know your strengths, and you are not in any way afraid to use them.

Raven. You beautiful, sophisticated, independent young woman. I am in awe of you. I swear you were a queen or some sort of woman in a high social position in a previous life. You are razor sharp. You have charisma to beat us all. You do your thing, and you don't fucking care if they like it. But they like it. In fact, they love it.

Laney. I refuse to believe we met less than a week ago. In that time we have bonded more than I could have ever imagined. Bless you for loving Lucy as much as I do. I realized right away that I had met my match in you. You have the silliness I've always craved, the poise I've always lacked, and the ability to turn the saddest thing into the happiest, which I've always seen but could never emulate. I think more than anything, you teach me how to harness my love and obsession, and reign it in the right direction (which coincidentally, happens to be you and the aforementioned ladies.)

None of this could ever be said aloud. In conversation, I trip up. I lose myself in the thinking instead of the speaking. So here is my solution. I am surrounded by love and I don't know what to do with myself. So I write. And I love back.