(1) Facebook

The thing about Facebook profile pictures is that we're all lying to ourselves. Or, otherwise, being douchey Hollywood starlets who blush under the scrutiny of our friends/fans.


"aaah this is so pretty!"
"omg you're gorgeous"
"seriously, stop it, you are too beautiful"

*Julia Roberts laugh* Stop it, guys, I'm not pretty. You're the gorgeous one. *heart, cute smiley face, other various cyber lingo*

Well, excuse me, Ms. Fishing-for-compliments. I guess I had it wrong.

See, I thought you posted this one as your profile picture because you thought you looked good in it. I figured that there was a slew of some 600 other photos on your already cluttered profile, and the fact that you chose this picture to be the one people see when you show up anywhere on the website kind of led me to believe that you thought it was at least remotely a good picture. My mistake.

You do understand that the point of a profile picture is to show people "You." The idealistic you. The photographic summary of what you encapsulate; what makes you TICK. I mean, that's why we all have Facebook profiles, isn't it? To paint a pseudo-realistic portrait of ourselves in the pseudo-realistic place we call the Internet.

I mean, Jesus, you don't even have to think you're beautiful. Fine. But for goodness sake, can you at least just admit that maybe, just MAYBE you look okay in this one shot? Why, WHY, instead of a simple "Thank you!" or "That's very sweet of you to say," do you need to draw attention to the fact that you're an ugly witch with no physically appealing aspirations whatsoever?

You know what? Just once, I would love to see someone put this as the caption under their profile picture.

"Hey everyone, this is my profile picture and I made it my profile picture because it is a good picture and I am celebrating the fact that I actually look good in this one, which doesn't happen very often. So here it is, and feel free to comment but I already know what you're going to say and you already know what my response will be so why don't we just all save each other from the bullshit and the Carpal tunnel and just go about our day? Oh, but if you don't "like" it, I'll get really depressed and act like I have no friends."

That would be great. That would get a standing ovation and a round of applause from me.

Oh and one more thing. If you're reading this thinking, "She's got a point, you know," just remember the fact that I am a giant hypocrite and in about 20 minutes I will log on to Facebook and "modestly" brush off a compliment of how I look in a certain photo. Take everything I say with a grain of salt. Hey, pobody's nerfect, right?